Betrayal Page 17

  ‘If she is bringing serpents back with her, I may be able to sense them,’ Tallis said. ‘Find out how far away they are.’

  ‘But you haven’t felt anything yet.’ Shaan turned to him and saw he was searching now.

  ‘No,’ he said faintly, his attention far from her. A sudden fierce foreboding of imminent separation filled her. It gave her a chill feeling and she put a hand on his arm. His gaze refocused to take her in as he sensed it. You feel it too? His voice was a whisper in her mind.

  ‘What is it?’ Morfessa asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ Tallis said but Shaan saw the old man give them both a silent, speculative look.

  ‘Here,’ Rorc said, ‘we must get back to the plan. Attar, what size force have you seen outside the wall?’

  ***

  It was close to midnight when they left Rorc’s quarters. Tallis headed back to the Dome to call the serpents while Shaan and Balkis went to find a Hunter and Seducer to go with her to rescue Nilah. Shaan’s idea of swimming around the headland had been expanded upon. While she went to the palace, Tallis and Attar would use the two serpents to push the guards from the main gate so Rorc could lead an exodus from the yards. Meanwhile Balkis would swim out and around the headland with a squad of thirty men and attack from the rear, forcing surrender. With both serpents and the might of the Faithful against them they hoped the guardsmen would be overcome, and Balkis would be able to lead the Faithful and Riders out of the city while Shaan and Tallis got Nilah out on the serpents.

  Shaan followed Balkis through the trees back toward the barracks. The planning of their attack and their army’s escape from the city had taken hours and her head felt over-full of tactics and decisions, her left side aching, in need of rest.

  Balkis walked in tense silence. Shaan wondered if he was worried at having to leave his family behind, or just unhappy at the steps the council had taken which had led them to this. He strode along the path so swiftly Shaan could barely keep up. It was dark under the trees and she tripped over an unseen root as they headed down the hill. Balkis didn’t turn around as she gasped and caught herself before she fell, and in frustration she called out to him.

  ‘Slow down!’

  He stopped. His hair caught the starlight, gleaming almost white, and his eyes were in shadow as he stood still, waiting for her.

  ‘If you’re in such a hurry, just run ahead and I’ll see you there,’ she said as she reached him.

  ‘I thought you were healed enough to keep up. Isn’t that what you told Rorc?’ His voice was cool, restrained.

  She paused. ‘I am healed enough. I just don’t have legs as long as yours.’

  ‘I see.’ He nodded.

  ‘You don’t think I can do this,’ she said.

  ‘I don’t think you should do this — there’s a difference.’

  ‘Well, luckily I don’t need your permission.’

  ‘No, you don’t.’ His tone was calm but there was an edge to it that raised her temper.

  ‘I don’t need a nursemaid, Balkis,’ she said. ‘I’ve been looking after myself for years and I can do this, I’m strong enough. Do you think Tallis would have said so if he thought I wasn’t?’

  ‘Tallis?’ He let out a short, hard laugh. ‘He’s so filled up now with power he thinks he can do anything. He thinks he could save you if he had to.’

  ‘Maybe he could,’ she said. ‘You know who he is, don’t you? Who he’s descended from, who we’re both descended from?’

  Balkis said nothing, his blue eyes a dark gleam in the half light.

  ‘He would never put me in danger,’ she said.

  ‘He doesn’t think you’ll be in danger.’

  ‘Because he knows I can do this.’

  Balkis let out a soft breath. ‘Because he would kill an army to save you.’ He moved a step toward where she stood beneath the shadow of a tall tree. His words made her pause and she saw again the power glimmering in her brother’s eye, saw a vision of him cutting through a crowd of men, a blade in his hand and fury in his face. He was that strong now. It made her afraid for him and she suddenly sensed him at the Dome, a centre of drawing power and energy so great he was like a bright darkness inside her mind — but all of that power was bent to one end, killing Azoth, and doing anything to reach that goal. Balkis touched her shoulder and she blinked and came back to the dark shadows of the trees.

  ‘Shaan,’ he said, and his thumb stroked the fine bone of her shoulder, ‘why didn’t you tell me about your mother?’

  The breath caught in her throat. ‘There hasn’t been time.’

  ‘How long has she been here?’

  ‘Why does it matter?’ She felt suddenly cornered by the knowing tone of his voice. ‘It might come as a surprise that I don’t tell you everything, Balkis.’

  He paused, expelled a breath. ‘No, why would I expect that? After all, there’s nothing between us, is there?’ His thumb rubbed again over her skin.

  It made her feel warm and anxious at the same time. ‘Stop that.’

  ‘Why? It means nothing.’ He kept doing it and the words she planned to say didn’t come as she saw that his eyes were filled with a bitter kind of pain.

  ‘Doesn’t it mean nothing?’ he said again. ‘Are my attentions a game to you?’

  It took the fight out of her. She had never seen him like this before. ‘No,’ she said, ‘it means something.’

  His lips twisted. ‘But not much.’

  ‘No.’ She put her hand over his, stopping the movement of his thumb. ‘More than that.’

  He stilled, watching her almost warily, and she brought his hand down and held it between her own. It was bigger than hers, the skin hardened by holding a sword, tanned from the sun, and yet her own fit so well in it. She hadn’t noticed that before. She rubbed a finger over his palm, tracing the lines faint in the starlight, and took in a deep breath.

  ‘Shaan —’ His voice was uneven, soft, but she gripped his hand, cutting him off.

  ‘No, wait,’ she said. ‘I didn’t tell you about my mother because she doesn’t feel … it doesn’t seem like she’s real.’ She hoped he would see in her face what she couldn’t explain. ‘I never had a mother, Balkis, not really, and now it just feels —’

  ‘Too late?’ he said.

  She sighed. ‘Perhaps. I don’t know.’ Her heart beat faster as she gripped his hand tighter. ‘But that’s not all,’ she said. ‘I also found out that Tallis and I have a father alive as well.’

  A small frown drew his brows together. ‘You don’t sound happy about that, either.’

  She shook her head. ‘He doesn’t know, not yet.’

  ‘You say that like he’s here, in Salmut.’

  ‘He is.’ Shaan took a long breath, wondering if she was doing the right thing. But eventually Mailun must tell and then everyone would know anyway. ‘It’s Rorc,’ she said quietly. ‘Rorc is our father.’

  Balkis was silent for a long moment and she stared down at his hand, his fingers curled over her own.

  ‘Well, that would explain why you were acting so strangely around him earlier,’ he said. ‘But he’s certainly not the worst man to have as a father. I don’t know why you’re so upset.’

  Shaan looked up in surprise. ‘He’s the Commander, he almost put me in the cells once, and I don’t think he even likes me.’

  Balkis shrugged. ‘I don’t know that the Commander particularly likes anyone. But finding you have parents is surely a good thing, isn’t it?’

  ‘I’m too old to suddenly have parents,’ Shaan said.

  ‘Try telling my father that.’ Balkis smiled crookedly but his humour faded when she didn’t return his smile, and his eyes narrowed a fraction. ‘Is that what these heroics you’re planning are about? Risking yourself because you don’t want to have to face him when he knows?’

  ‘No.’ She pulled her hand from his. ‘But it’s a good distraction, don’t you think?’

  ‘Shaan …’ The frustration came back into his face.
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br />   ‘What? I can look after myself, Balkis.’

  ‘Really? Then why did I need to save you from that boy in the alley, and how did I manage to catch you so easily when you were running from me?’

  ‘Luck and a mistake,’ Shaan said, folding her arms. She hated being reminded of that night when she’d been so stupid at the Serpent Inn. But she was different now, in more ways than one. ‘Usually I can look after myself. I survived Azoth, didn’t I?’

  He paused and his face became very still. ‘Only just,’ he said, and a look of pained anger filled his eyes. ‘Do you know what that did to me, Shaan? For a time I thought you were dead. I thought I’d lost you. I thought …’ He shook his head and she felt as if something was gripping her inside, a hard, clawed fist drawing everything in.

  ‘And then you came back,’ he said. ‘You came back and finally, finally you let me see you.’ His voice was low and bleak. ‘I didn’t think you ever would. And now you want to run off and risk yourself again.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Shaan whispered, and reached out to touch his hand, but he stood still. ‘I was afraid to see you,’ she said. ‘I was injured, half dead.’

  ‘Do you think that mattered to me?’

  ‘It mattered to me.’ She swallowed, trying to force her heart, which seemed to be almost in her mouth, back down. The feelings for him which she had been trying to smother, to deny, were swamping her now. Now when they had so little time left. She drew on her courage. ‘I wanted you to see me whole,’ she said, ‘not broken. I …’ She took in a long breath. ‘Thinking of you, when I was with Azoth, it kept me going.’

  It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was all she knew to offer him, all she could say now, when that terrible feeling of separation hovered.

  A faint smile flickered on and off his face like firelight. He raised a hand and ran it gently over her jaw. ‘Then, please, don’t do this,’ he said.

  She took his hand. ‘I don’t have a choice. You know Nilah won’t do what she’s told.’ She smiled briefly, sadly. ‘We don’t have a choice. Stop being so protective.’

  ‘I can’t help it.’

  His dark blue gaze stayed, intense, on her face. It was quiet among the trees; all those who lived in the cottages among them were preparing for battle down in the square. They were alone and she was suddenly very aware of it. Balkis was so close it would be easy to rest her hand on the hard muscle of his chest. She wanted to.

  ‘Tomorrow night we will be gone from here,’ she said.

  He nodded slowly. ‘If things go well. You will go to the Clans and I will —’

  ‘Go closer to where Azoth will be,’ she interrupted, and was suddenly afraid for him.

  ‘Are you worried about me?’ he said, and there was a hint of that teasing tone in his voice that made her blood race, but she could not match his humour. Not now. The knowledge that she might not see him again for a long time, that he might die, hit her. ‘Yes,’ she whispered.

  His smile faded and his voice was low when he spoke. ‘It’s what I’m trained to do.’

  The breath caught in her throat and she raised one hand and laid it flat against his chest. She felt his heart beating fast beneath her palm, and looked up into his face. He watched her with a stillness at odds with the rapid thud.

  ‘I don’t want you to go,’ she said, and slipped her fingers beneath the opening of his vest to the warm, bare skin, feeling the sparse, soft hairs there.

  ‘Shaan,’ he whispered, ‘stop tea —’ She cut off his words with a kiss, slipping her hand up to his neck to pull him down toward her. His lips were warm and soft and he tasted salty and sweet. For a moment he was still, but then he pulled her toward him and kissed her back. She felt dizzy, a wheeling away of herself, of everything gone but for his mouth on hers, his breath, his tongue. She pressed against him and he pushed her back until she felt the rough bark of a tree against her spine, kissing him all the while, afraid to stop, not wanting to. He pushed her skirt up, his hand moving up her thigh until his fingers pressed into the softer flesh. He ran kisses down her neck and she arched toward him, drawing him in with her leg and feeling his hardness press against her so she gasped with pleasure and want.

  ‘Wait.’ He lifted his head, breathless. ‘Not here.’ His eyes were dark with desire, his breath hot on her face. But Shaan sought his lips again, filled, overflowing with impatience for what she had denied herself for too long.

  ‘Yes, here,’ she said. He hesitated a moment but she tightened the grip of her leg and ran her tongue across his lip, moving against him. He groaned and, putting a hand behind her head, kissed her until she could barely breathe, then picked her up and carried her deeper into the shadows, where they fell to the damp ground. She pulled at the ties of his vest, undoing them, and ran a hand over the hard, contracted muscles of his bared torso. He smelled of sweat and dust, of spice. Small stones prickled her back but she ignored them, crying out as he pushed the top of her dress down and circled a nipple with his tongue. She struggled to take off her underclothes, tugging at his trousers, and then there was skin sliding on skin, the taste of him, his breath on her thigh. And she found a moment of joy; it wasn’t a stranger’s hands in an alley, a rough boy who didn’t know her, it was Balkis and she whispered his name as he moved inside her, holding on to him tight as he cradled her head above the ground. She looked into his eyes, dark and staring, strange and beautiful, and she cried out as the pleasure overcame her.

  Chapter 18

  Tallis stood facing into the wind, feeling the serpents come toward him and faintly, purposely faintly, that Shaan was with Balkis. He tried to close his mind to that as much as he could. It made him feel like a peep jack. It also made him feel lonely.

  He stared up at the sky. The night was black and bright with stars and he could smell the salt tang of the sea on the air, but he was thinking of how much brighter the sky would be when he was back in the desert.

  ‘Smells like more rain coming,’ Mailun said, and he turned to see her and Irissa come across the rooftop toward him.

  ‘Did I wake you?’ he said.

  ‘No, we were still awake. Irissa won’t settle until she knows what is going on.’

  ‘You said you would tell me,’ she said. The young woman’s tone bordered on hostile.

  ‘Sorry.’ He was too weary to argue with her. ‘I thought you would be asleep, I was going to wait until the morning.’

  ‘But you are not coming back here to sleep, are you?’ his mother said.

  ‘No.’ He gestured out into the night. ‘I have to bring the serpents in. The Guardian is being held captive in the palace and we must get her out tomorrow — before we leave for the Clans.’

  His mother’s face tightened at that but Irissa looked relieved.

  ‘Thank the Guides,’ she said, but Mailun was silent.

  ‘I have asked Rorc to bring you both with us,’ he said, looking at her. ‘You will have to talk to him, Mother. You can’t wait any longer.’

  She nodded. ‘I know.’

  ‘He will be coming here soon,’ he said, ‘to check on what the serpents tell me.’

  Her neck moved in a convulsive swallow and she nodded again. ‘All right, son.’ She looked pale but her hands were steady as she took hold of his arm, squeezing it tight. ‘You will be fighting tomorrow.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He’ll be fine,’ Irissa snorted, ‘you shouldn’t worry about him.’ Her eyes glittered with something he couldn’t understand as she watched him.

  ‘You’ll need to be ready soon,’ he said. ‘Rorc is planning the attack on the guards at the gate and palace for the early hours before dawn. I’ll have the serpents carry you away from the city before it starts.’

  Irissa’s hard stance faltered. ‘We must ride a serpent?’

  ‘There’s no other way to leave quickly. You’ll be safe.’

  ‘I am not afraid,’ she retorted.

  ‘I don’t relish the thought of it,’ Mailun said quietly.

/>   ‘You’ll be fine.’ Tallis touched her arm.

  She smiled thinly as Irissa said, ‘I’ll be glad to leave. I’d kill for a mar rat; the meat here is always only fish or muthu — and Jared is not here …’ Her words faded away and Tallis felt a muscle contract in his gut. He turned back to scanning the sea and they were all silent a moment until she spoke again. ‘I still want to find him, Tallis.’

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘But he’s not lost, Irissa. I know where he is, I just can’t … If I could go back for him, if I could take him away, don’t you think I would?’

  ‘I don’t know. You’re so different, I don’t know what you would do now, Tallis.’ She turned away to stare out over the city, anger and pain etched into her profile.

  Tallis felt as though she’d kicked the breath from him. How could she think he would not have saved Jared if he could have?

  His mother made a small movement. ‘I need a moment to myself to be ready to see Rorc,’ she said. ‘I think I’ll go back inside.’ She gave him a hard look, then walked away across the stone roof.

  Tallis stood for a moment after she’d gone, knowing she expected him to try to make amends with Irissa. But would anything he said make a difference?

  ‘Ris?’ he said. It was a name he hadn’t used since childhood.

  She didn’t respond, her arms folded tightly across her body.

  He tried again. ‘Ris, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t want to leave him there.’

  ‘But you did.’ Her voice was tight. ‘You swore an oath, Tallis. He was willing to give his life for yours, but you —’ She stopped and faced him. He saw the brightness of tears in her eyes but she was too proud to let them fall.

  ‘The debt you owe him is now mine,’ she said.

  A heavy pain settled between his shoulders. She was invoking the right of kin.

  ‘He’s not dead, Ris,’ he said softly.

  ‘You don’t know that.’ Her stare was anguished. ‘If you care for me at all you will let me do this,’ she said. ‘It is my right to take his debt if it remains unpaid. And you have not paid it. You took no risk, you didn’t put his life before your own, now it is mine to claim in his place.’